Things are better but not really better at the same time. She wants to find herself, but I donapos;t think she understands. I didnapos;t either when I was looking because I didnapos;t realize certain things. Once Iapos;d realized them...it all made sense. The answer is easy, but the journey to find that answer is hard. My thoughts are blank right now. I could do something about this....I really could. I canapos;t though. She has to figure it out on her own and because of this...Iapos;m nothing more than a man strapped to a chair being forced to watch the love of his life tread through the many principals of life. Lord...your giving me what I wanted...and thats why Iapos;m not angry...hurt...or shocked. Iapos;m afraid that road will stray from me though. This journey changes you...for the better...and for the worse...and i just hope she makes the right decisions because I understand that once she finds herself...sheapos;ll probably look at me differently...the only question is how. I myself will be facing my many demons that try to break me down...as the hardest part will be watching from the sidelines. When it comes to something I canapos;t help...I have trouble sticking to it. I know myself when it comes to that. Thatapos;s why I asked Kaylynn to pray for me...that is if she does answer my request of even praying at all...but...its her choices and decisions...not mine. I do ask for prayer though...from anyone and everyone that can here me, and have read this. I love her. My love for her is more powerful than life itself but that still doesnapos;t mean that I donapos;t need prayer. God has helped me soo much in my life...and I can never stop needing that help...that guidance, because I just couldnapos;t handle life with out it. I really do need a hug right now.
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